Starting School in a Pandemic
As the country adjusted our summer plans to live during a pandemic, we anxiously awaited announcements about how returning to school would look in August. As a mom to two elementary age girls, an essential worker, and a mental health counselor, the dilemma was real, overwhelming and destined to be a big headache. I have the luxury of setting my own work hours and try my best to work around my daughters’ school schedule. I set my work schedule a few months in advance however when the school districts wait until two weeks before school starts it’s extremely difficult to plan your work schedule! I was frustrated the decision was pushed out until the last minute.
No matter what the outcome, I radically accepted that school was not going to look nor feel anything like it has in the past. If my girls returned to in-person they would get to see their friends, I would have an easier time with my work schedule, and they would probably learn more. However, would I be fearful when they walked in my door each day that they were asymptomatic carriers of COVID19? Would we be able to see close family and a few friends if they were attending school?
If school is virtual, we may have more flexibility in our daily lives, we would be much more protected from exposure to the virus, and we could see close family and friends without fearing we may infect them. But with virtual school will our internet work correctly, will the platforms function, will my kids learn enough, and will the school have a system set up that makes sense? So many questions and no answers- for months.
I have many friends in other communities where school start dates were pushed back, first options were given and at the midnight hour virtual school was mandated by the districts. Here in my area, the public school districts gave elementary parents two choices: 100% in-person for the entire semester OR 100% virtual learning for the entire semester. In all honestly the best answer for me was a hybrid approach- small class size, more limited exposure but some direct instruction and time with peers. Although some secondary schools offered this, the elementary schools did not. The choice seemed bad no matter what. Do we send our kids? Do we keep our kids home? There was no “right” answer. A lot of people asked me for advice, ‘what should I do?’ I think the answer was very personal. If my child was asthmatic, or we had a person with chronic illness in our home- hands down I would keep them home. Thankfully, we have neither of those medical issues in our immediate family. The other mumbling was, “I think they will end up virtual- do we send them for a few weeks to see their friends, or do we keep them home so we don’t end up with it?” Again, there was no RIGHT answer. The answer is deeply personal, deeply vulnerable and darn right scary. There is no great option- only the personal “least worst” in my opinion.
In the end my girls started in-person. I had accepted either way I would be okay with the outcome. My ex husband is a teacher. If he was teaching in-person my girls would be exposed during his parenting time (as he was being exposed by his students). So to me it would make sense for them to at least benefit from the benefits of in-person. If he was teaching virtually- it made sense to me to choose remote as to best protect the limited exposure and not sabotage that aspect. As you can guess, their dad is teaching in person nonetheless with 30 students in his classroom. My girls went in -person and I am okay with it. The scariest part for me was putting my 9 year old on a bus, for the 1st time ever, at 7:30am in the morning to a school neither her nor I had ever set foot in! My heart goes out to all the kindergarteners, (4th graders in our district), 6th graders, 9th graders (7th graders in our district) and any other student who started at a new school this fall with no tour, no meet your teacher, no clue where you are going, first day of school! My daughter was anxious and honestly, I may have been more anxious than her. She kept saying how nervous she was as we waited for the bus, in her mask. I said it numerous times, “Lyla there are lots of nice people at your school and many other kids who have never been there-just like you. When you get off the bus ask someone where to go. Tell them you are lost and need help finding your way to your classroom. People are nice. They will help you!” I teared up as I blew kisses to the bus that first morning, hoping and praying that my words would come true.
